Any Day Now
2025-Aug-26 • Barlow Crassmont
Modern dating isn’t what it used to be when I was younger we went to parties smiled at cute boys introduced ourselves said a kind word then exchanged phone numbers a few days later it was dinner and a movie holding hands and what have you but today no one has real life conversations they text back and forth ad nauseum it’s this app that app some are free but the good ones cost a bundle yet are abundant with freaks and perverts Sonya Macintosh says you’ll find happiness any day now she suggests I try this site Newcomers and (some) Nationals it’s free and there’s men and women from all over the place especially foreigners and outsiders with sexy accents deliciously tanned skin what the hell I say got nothing to lose my last four dates went horrifically so I sign up be careful Sonya says with the new draconian laws don’t get careless the last thing you want is a child after a scoundrel has his way with you relax I say I’m not a baby soon I’m bombarded with messages from all sorts of men plumbers gardeners pickers busboys drivers their pics are fine but too blue collar for my taste one particularly stands out he’s mysterious profile incomplete but handsome as the devil he asks if I’ve been to The Black Keys concert nice he’s read my profile most don’t even bother no I say but would love to someday how about a cup of coffee sure so we meet the following week at The Ground Bean it’s a cozy south loop neighborhood place homey modest and not crowded my date is late this irks me when he arrives he’s simply stunning my jaw drops sorry for the tardiness he says a client kept him late I’m Lou he’s from a southern place hard to pronounce he’s tried many cases this year alone he seldom misses a chance to compliment my hair earrings and nails I blush like a teenager and I flatter his warm skin and eyes redder than a pair of strawberries he burns his mouth on the hot coffee where I’m from rivers of flowing lava are cooler than this we giggle like middle schoolers then agree to dinner the following week restaurant is French fancier than a Parisian brand during fashion week the wine goes smoothly with his Bouillabaisse and my Salade Nicoise but it leaves something to be desired so we order another bottle he says I have big plans the world will be my oyster before long at this rate it should happen any day now I stare at his fiery eyes with a lustful urge by the time he pays the bill I’m tipsier than a Dublin priest outside it’s snowing we hail a cab what do you want to do he asks why don’t we go to your place I say I know I shouldn’t but wine did a number on me we start making out in the elevator by the time we reach his unit everything’s spinning I fall over him and soon our clothes are off and he’s on top of me and everything is bliss euphoria ecstasy when he groans upon climaxing I feel a jolt of heat injected into me that’s when I realize we forgot the prophylactic oh well what’s the worst that can happen I pass out when I wake there’s note on his pillow he had to go clients were waiting had a great time see you soon but after a few days my calls go unanswered after multiple voicemails and texts I go to his place the doorman says no one by that name lives here you’re mistaken I say I went out with him last week he shakes his head and turns me away that’s when physical changes start my stomach aches morning sickness overwhelms before long I book a doctor’s appointment after an ultrasound the woman looks perplexed as she stares at the sonogram with bewildering eyes what is it I ask you’re definitely pregnant but something’s off oh great that’s all I need now Sonya’s face and finger wagging flash before my eyes the doctor points to the image makes a strange face this she says pointing to pointy growths on the baby’s head what is that I ask looks like an animal’s prongs she shrugs I wish I knew but it’s not normal I’m not married I say I’d like to get rid of it what are my options none federal government has prohibited termination of pregnancies I close my eyes shake my head keep countless tears from storming down my cheeks at home I call everyone I know but they’re of little help sorry no can do I want no part of breaking the law before long I’m the unmarried harlot who was too promiscuous for her own good and with a baby on the way I succumb to my fate can’t even cross the border to take care of the problem my shame has branded me with a scarlet letter linked to my passport media gets a hold of what’s in my belly the circus overwhelms my workplace leading to my layoff now I’m jobless and about to deliver who knows what the tabloids run rampant and say the vilest things my doctor is baffled and fears the worst your child’s birth will either be the second coming or the end of days let’s hope it’s the former I say as the first leaves fall suddenly my sleeping visions of the world are fire and torture and eternal suffering but at least we followed the law and the right can rest easy that no fetus was harmed wonder if they’ll say the same when the apocalypse strikes which according to my doctor should be any day now.
Barlow Crassmont
Barlow Crassmont has lived in the USA, Eastern Europe, Middle East and China. When not teaching or writing, he dabbles in juggling, solving the Rubik’s Cube, and learning other languages.
He has been published by British Science Fiction Association, Mobius Blvd, Amsterdam Quarterly and in the 41st anthology of Writers of the Future.
Books
- Dark Speculations: Tales of Various Shapes & Shadows Volume 1
- Mobius Blvd: Stories from the Byway Between Reality and Dream No. 17
- Shadows on the Stage
- Skobeloff Horror & Ghost Stories Anthology
- Writers of the Future Volume 41
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